An Extravagant Gift From My Dad

How it profoundly changed my marriage

Everyday Natalie

Many years ago, my father generously gifted my husband and me a vacation to Hawaii for our tenth wedding anniversary. Previously, we had only been away from our children for a few overnight trips because finding the time, money, and courage to leave our kids for a weeklong vacation was challenging. This extravagant gift from my dad profoundly changed our marriage because that trip to Hawaii launched our annual couples-only holidays.

Since then, one of our marriage goals has been to ensure we get away yearly for one more significant trip and a few small ones. Sometimes, we are only away for an overnight stay nearby, or I may tag along on a business trip, and we tack a few days on either end. On other occasions, we intentionally plan longer stays further away from home.

Once in Hawaii, we realized how vital this “alone time” was for our relationship. We cherished the time given to talk, dream, wonder, and focus on our marriage without the distractions of children, responsibilities, and work. There was space to enjoy lazy mornings, eat only when hungry, wander around, rest, be romantic, and indulge on excursions we could not have had if we had brought the kids. We then knew that going away annually was vital for the health of our marriage.

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Even now, as empty nesters, getaways are just as important. Finding quality time can be tricky when there are constant chores, laundry to fold, meetings to attend, bills to pay, errands to run, and jobs to work. Even for a night, getting away allows for complete attention on one another, away from the distractions of everything at home.

Everyday Natalie

This past week, my husband and I enjoyed a mini vacation not far from home. We planned it last fall, and as the date approached, the timing seemed less than ideal. We had other things competing for our time and attention. We went anyway, and I’m so happy we did. Tony and I stayed at a lovely inn and enjoyed breakfast in our cottage, wine and cheese hour, and the peaceful grounds. We spent our leisurely days going on walks, reading, relaxing, and trying new-to-us restaurants. We visited the botanical gardens, the beach, and the university campus where we met. One evening, we enjoyed a wonderful dinner with dear friends. The getaway was such a treat. ❤️

Over the years, we have traveled throughout California (our home state), stayed in all-inclusive resorts, flown to tropical Islands, taken a few cruises, and visited Europe multiple times. We budget and save for these trips throughout the year and make them a priority. These getaways are genuinely treasured and so valuable for our marriage. Honestly, that first vacation to Hawaii revolutionized our relationship.

I realize not everyone can afford to take weeklong vacations with their spouses or travel to far-flung destinations, and I’m not advocating a prescriptive formula for your getaways. But I hope that sharing some of the reasons why we plan these trips may encourage you to make a plan for time away with your spouse.

You do not need to travel to faraway places to take a couple’s vacation. Often, hotels in your area will offer locals’ specials. You can stay at vacation rentals or even do a home swap with friends. It was not always easy to save for these holidays or find childcare, but we made it work. With some careful planning, you can do this, too! Your marriage will be better for it!

“Here's to all the places we went. And all the places we'll go And here's me, whispering again and again and again and again: I love you.” John Green

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What’s the best trip you’ve ever taken with your spouse? I would love to know!