How to Stay Connected with Your Partner

Ways to keep your relationship strong when life is so busy

How can we stay connected to our partners when life is so busy?

Our lives can feel full with careers, child-rearing, household responsibilities, errand-running, outside friends, hobbies, ministry, and other activities. 

How do we keep our marriages/romantic relationships fresh and alive? How do we maintain the spark?

Photo via Unsplash

I once read that the first taste of love can strike you like a thunderbolt; it feels like a flash of lightning with a simultaneous crash of thunder. After years of marriage, I discovered that the sudden electricity and explosions we first feel in our hearts change. They fade to softer light and distant rumbles. However, the spark is still there.

The steady, constant companionship and friendship make that initial spark grow into a love that lasts a lifetime. To grow that kind of love takes continual work. We cannot expect to plant trees and then never water them; they will die.  Our marriage is like those trees that require water, sunshine, and healthy soil to thrive. We must tend to our relationships continually by nourishing them and finding ways to keep the spark alive.

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My husband and I have been married for 36 years, and while it hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows, we’ve worked hard to nurture the most important relationship in our lives. I’m sharing what has helped us stay connected, and I hope it helps you and your partner, too.

Photo via Unsplash

~How to Stay Connected with Your Partner~

1. Communicate Often

Communicating seems obvious, but we can often be so preoccupied that we forget to talk. Ways to communicate regularly can be :

• Texting each other during the day to say hello, I’m thinking of you, I love you

• Talking in the evening about your day and listen well to your partner about theirs

• Sharing interesting or exciting things you’ve read, watched, or listened to

• Discussing hopes and dreams as individuals and for your relationship

• Praying together

2. Set Goals

Setting goals helps you focus on the next right thing and plan for the future. Goals give us something to work toward. Some goals to discuss:

• Budget goals-

  Saving up for something in particular, paying a debt off, planning for the future, vacation planning, retirement

• Romantic goals-

  Planning for time alone with each other. This is important! Go on regular dates and make time for intimacy.

• Companionship goals-

  Planning for non-date time together such as exercising, doing hobbies you both enjoy, running errands, sitting with each other at night watching a movie, listening to a podcast, or any other activities you can do with your partner. Spending time together builds intimacy and shows you value them.

• Fitness/Health goals-

  Set aside time to discuss your exercise plans/goals, meal ideas, how to stay active together, and other wellness topics

• Seasonal Goals-

  My husband and I set goals for each season. These are activities we hope to do sometime within the three months of that season, such as a particular hike, a home project, or somewhere new we want to try

3. Remember the Small Things

Sometimes, the little things we do for our partner are more meaningful than the big gestures. There are a million ways to do small things, but here are some examples:

• Running an errand for your partner

• Doing a chore your partner typically does

• Leaving little love notes on a post-it, in a card, on the mirror

• Putting toothpaste on both toothbrushes

• Noticing and saying thank you for a kind gesture

• Surprising the other with their favorite treat, a little gift, a car wash, flowers, etc.

4. Be Intentional

Any close relationship needs conscious effort, and making deliberate choices reflects what’s most important to us. Here are some ideas:

• Be intentional when making time for each other. How often this happens is individual to each couple. Maybe it’s a short, nightly talk, maybe it’s a weekly walk, perhaps it’s at lunchtime twice a week

• Enjoy coffee or tea together on Saturday mornings

• Be intentional with affection and romance

• Celebrate wins together

• Set aside time for fun

• Discover the best way your partner receives love. One way is to learn each other’s Love Languages.

• Put your partner first above anyone else, including yourself

True love knits two people together until the threads of one life are intertwined with the threads of the other. Eventually, you become one thread. ❤️

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“Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do.” David Wilkerson

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How do you maintain your relationship daily? What have you discovered works to keep the spark? Comment below. I would love to hear!

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I appreciate you!